Time of Unknown

My mother warned me that when I went off to college that I’d suddenly find myself without a true home. Yes, I would always be able to come back to my parents house and I had my new dorm room and roommate to live with. However, what she meant was that I would suddenly be thrust into the Unknown. Going home would be relieving but I’d find myself wanting to be back at school, and while at school I’d long to go home.

Nowhere was my true place.

I figured that by the time I reached my senior year of college that I’d lose the want to go home and find that school was where I’d long to be. And then I traveled around to internships.

I made friends from different states, lifestyles, and found niches in cities I’d only ever read about. I traveled and learned. I found opportunities I’d never thought would be present. The Unknown continued to grow and grow. It didn’t waver or subside. Opportunities, choices, options all amounted to create a grander abyss.

The Unknown is everywhere I turn. It’s extremely frightening and exciting. I have a million possibilities that lead to a million choices which lead to a million different outcomes. Being afraid of choosing the right one is definitely a concern. But I’m also having too much fun daydreaming about the different outcomes.

Don’t get me wrong, I will be happy when I start to settle down, but I have a feeling I’ll be living in the Unknown for a while longer.



Class Presentations, and Those Who Give Them Its that time of year again where snow falls and Christmas Break is on the horizon. People are merry and bright. Unless you are participating in a little thing called college. Then the library lights are bright, and you're merry when someone goes to grab coffee with you so you can get a study break...and caffeine. Mostly, caffeine. The amount of projects and class presentations accumulate faster than you can believe. When you look around the library, or are sitting in your classroom watching other nervous 20-somethings giving their presentations, you easily see the many different ways people approach them. You have the hard-core student. They have  prepared for every possible event, and have the note cards to prove it. This student is the one you want to present before so that by the time they're finished no one will remember how you mispronounced your own name. If you are unable to present before them, then I would suggest waiting a presentation or two after theirs before volunteering to go. Next we have the lucky person who is able to BS their way through a presentation on DNA cloning. Gifted with the ability of speech, this student is usually the class favorite for presentations due to their ability to entertain. They're a nice break from our next student. The most common student is the Average Joe. This student had to spread themselves thin in preparing for multiple presentations. They slowly walk to the front of the class with their few note cards they hastily prepared 10 minutes before arriving to class. They stammer out random facts on the subject given to them, just barely make the time limit, and then quickly slide back into their seat to stare at the note cards for their next class. Lastly, we have the completely unprepared. Rolling in to class late and, sometimes, being surprised that today is in fact the day that presentations are taking place. They stand in front of the class and you can't help but sit in your seat and feel bad for them. A few times it has been painful to watch this student present. So, happy presentation season everyone. Go grab some coffee and find a comfy place in the library. Embrace the awkward, and practice reckless optimism. Robin      

Bad Case of the Mondays

Many a tangent today for this blog post. So brace yourself.

First off…
Two weeks ago was Halloween, which just so happens to be my least favorite holiday. Mainly due to finding the costume, having to dress up, putting forth effort, etc. HOWEVER! This year my friend Jake gave me a beautiful idea of dressing as one of my idols and he would dress as one of her many boy toys. That’s right! T-Swift came out in full force for my costume. We chose Blank Space and the portion of the video where Taylor goes crazy and cuts her current beau’s shirt. So…I had mascara smeared down my face and he had a shirt with holes in it. Absolute beautiful mess. Halloween this year almost changed my dislike for it…almost.

On to the next tangent.
Having a bad case of the Millennial Mind.
In my humble opinion, this takes on many different meanings the most prominent currently being not being able to sit and read.
If I am just sitting and reading a book, I believe that I am missing something important that I should be doing. I apparently have no qualms about laying in bed and watching hours of YouTube videos or Netflix. However, the moment I crack a book open a flood of anxiety washes over me. I love reading. Reading has helped me focus my overly imaginative brain into pictures and people who come alive right out of the page. The moment I stepped foot into freshman year of college reading was shoved to the side for homework. I began to miss reading though, because it is honestly one of my favorite past times. So every so often I would binge read a book and finish it in a day or two. But that doesn’t go so well when I, also, have three homework assignments due and a test the next day. So solution number two was created. Read right before I go to sleep. Many people do this, you see it in movies all of the time.

This worked well for a solid two weeks, and then I kept getting to bed too late and just passing out from the day. No reading was done. So then I just gave up and read here and there, read a lot over breaks, if I found a book I liked I added it to my list contained in the post-it notes on my computer. Currently, in my junior year, I still haven’t found a good time to read due to my schedule fluctuating every other freaking second. I have started a book, The Opposite of Loneliness, and this is where I found the anxiety to just come at me. As previously stated, I have just breached on the world of YouTube and am obsessed. I can watch those videos for hours without feeling a thing, besides joy, due to watching the videos. I opened to the first page of my book and was immediately thinking about every other thing I could have been doing.
SOLUTION 3. Went to the gym. Got on an elliptical. And read.
And it worked! I didn’t feel any anxiety about just reading a book. My mind was like, yeah this is okay because you’re also working out.
Like, what?!
Why is it okay in my mind for me to waste hours on YouTube and Netflix, and unacceptable to read a book.

Tangent on running out of yogurt.
This is just occurring due to me running out of yogurt and not being able to make a smoothie last night. A smoothie just sounds real delicious but I ate all my yogurt earlier yesterday.

Before writing this I had a lot more tangents…but I can’t remember them all. Really should write them down.

Ah well, c’est la vie.
Embrace the awkward and practice reckless optimism.